What up guys. Today I have a quick MOTD from this weekend and come cheat day food porn but I also have some a couple of topics I want to discuss. So let’s just jump right on in.
I meant to get this up yesterday but I was having a hella bad arthritis flare up which after breaking down and taking some Tylenol, and a good stretch and back rub it eased up but then I fell into a hole of watching Black Mirror. The perils of writing from home is that it is way to easy to get distracted and I ADD so I am all over the place mentally anyway, throw in youtube, Hulu and Netflix and just internet in general. It’s a recipe for disaster… and my lack of willpower on top of that just follows every little whim instead of the one thing I set out to do. I ended up having a pretty rough night after the night before being shitty due to back, shoulder and hip pain. Last night was another level of suck. I forgot to take my Celexa for a couple days and that, in turn, causes me to have sleep paralysis which is just a hoot! No, it’s the worst sensation ever. I get the wonderful kind that comes with hallucinations! Isn’t that fun? Fucking barrel of monkeys in my brain. Anyway, after having restless legs I finally fell asleep only for the sleep paralysis to kick in. It’s been a long time since I have had it and forgot just how shitty it is. I hallucinate that I am awake and am trying to get out of bed and find help. Like someone to wake me up. I know is sounds like a bad dream but trust me, hallucinations are very different than dreams. You truly think it’s real, down to the detail. Everything is exactly how it is in real life. I kept thinking I was awake and trying to call out for help to make sure it was real because I knew what was happening but I couldn’t tell if I was awake or not. I snapped out of it at one point and I was calling for my mama. It took me a minute to realize that no, she isn’t in the living room because she’s been dead 12 years. I used to call for her when I was younger and this would happen. So I fell back asleep and went right back into sleep paralysis and this time I was trying to call out for my husband to come wake me up. I could feel Pumpkin next to me moving around cause I was making noise, I knew she was there and I knew that he was in the studio so I try to get up and end up falling out of the bed and crawling to the studio and thankfully I jumped awake enough after to really get up. It felt so real. I could feel the wood floor under my hands and knees. Yeah, that fun went on for about an hour. I hate it so much. It makes me feel sick, like I get motion sickness because it makes me dizzy and a headache. Not to mention the feeling of electrical waves coursing through my body. I finally went to sleep sleep after 5 am. I had to get up for a bit, take my medicine too and clear that mess out of my head. Have any of you ever felt sleep paralysis? Tell me your experiences? I think everyone’s it different, you can have visual and audio hallucinations with it, feeling like some is sitting on you, all kinds of hell.
Okay, let’s talk about something fun like cheat day and makeup and maybe we will come back to some deep thoughts afterward.
I am still on my tea kick. I did a lot of makeup this past week but they are for perticular blog posts so they are on the back burner until the post are ready so I only have one look to share.
Anyway, Friday brought my first cheat day in 2 weeks. Usually, I pick just a cheat meal but I went a little HAM and had cheat meals. First one was a 4am with breakfast from the local donut shop by my house. I got a raspberry filled jelly donut, a regular one, and a boudin kolache. I don’t know how familiar many of you will be with a boudin kolache so I will explain it. It’s a link of boudin which is a sausage casing stuff with ground meat and rice with cajun seasonings. Think dirty rice or rice dressing. The link is wrapped in the softest most amazing bread ever. It sounds kind of gross but it’s amazing.
Kolaches come in all kinds of variety, ham and cheese, jalapeno cheese and sausage, You know it. It’s usually spicy. There are memes about cajun breakfast being a kolache and a coke or donuts and Community Coffee. I did get a Community Coffee, A large mocha one. I love the coffee at this donut shop because it tastes like donuts kind of and I love the staff, Ling is my favorite gal there and she hasn’t been around lately, makes me kinda sad. I always have Pumpkin with me and they throw in free donut holes for her. LOL. She can’t have them but it’s the thought. I give her a bite.
Speaking of Pumpkin. Little turd. She took Ross’s pj pants and put them on my side of bed to cuddle in them while I was taking a shower and messing around in the bedroom. She loves her Hooman so much. Pumpkin got to make a new friend too. My Dad just got an 8 week old beagle pupper and he feel in love with Pumpkin. Pumpkin was kinda of scared of him because he was sooo playful and he chased her all over the house. I was cry laughing at them.
Back to Friday, I told you my brain is all over the shop. It was time for my cheat day dinner which I had planned for a week. First the makeup.
I was feeling kinda boring actually and just went with a simple smoky eye using the Kat Von D Saints and Sinner Palette paired with a greige lip from Ciate. I believe it is called Bittersweet. I had done another makeup look but fucked it all up and didn’t have time to deal with it so I washed it off and threw this on in 10 mins.
And here is dinner. A little bit of everything. It’s almost like bibimbap but you put whatever you want in it. It’s the fucky American version. LOL. Anyway, I put tofu, which is my new favorite thing, chicken, crab, and shrimp along with bean sprouts, corn, and cashews topped with General Tso sauce. yeah. It’s a shit show of a meal but it tastes awesome. I added a touch of curry, garlic and Tony’s Cajun Seasoning to it for some spice. I was going to try and make it traditional Korean style but too many options and yummy things.
I did make chicken pad thai last night that was amazing and keto friendly. Konjac Shirataki Noodles are the best thing I have ever discovered. I am shocked my local Wal-Mart actually carries them.
Saturday was spent being Lazy AF while binge-watching Trailer Park Boys with Pumpkin.
I had to get groceries though… blah. I hate grocery shopping. I will say though, I am enjoying more now that I am really good at cooking (if I do say so myself) I have gotten really brave and experimental with food. Like today, I made my own keto pizza. I had bought the Atkins low carb pizzas to have in a pinch and they suck. Tiny things for 4 bucks a piece so I thought to myself, I bet I can do this with low carb tortillas and make it even healthier for a quarter of the price and just as quick. So fucking yummy too.
Sunday was also stupid lazy. My dad brought his puppy over and I made a roast dinner with green beans. I got the recipe for the green beans they make at a local BBQ place. Also, I have been making hella good BBQ lately. The local joints are quaking. Outlaws is shooketh! Ribfins’ wig is snatched.
And that brings us to today, Monday was a wash but today I am feeling pretty damn good and productive.
Oh! who else watched Shane Dawson and Bunny’s videos. I laughed and cried right along with them. I have loved both Shane and Bunny for YEARS and them together made my heart so happy. I was also super inspired by them and encouraged to not be so worried over views and numbers and to really just do what I love which is talking like this, being open about everything and doing makeup! Fuck what anyone else thinks, just be true oneself. It’s so easy to forget how to do that when numbers are shoved in your face all day and you get caught up in a rat race of being an “influencer”. That is the whole reason I refuse to do Youtube. I hate the “industry” I love watching my few people. Bunny, Shane, That Girl Shae, Tati but I don’t to be like them. I like my little corner here on the internet. And I am a much better writer than I am a speaker. LOL. Which is silly because I can give a hella speech and took public speaking classes. I am great at talking to a crowd and teaching but I such at talking to a camera, I just hate it. in person, I can teach and speak to strangers no problem, I was planning to be an art teacher my whole life but found a love in makeup instead.
I do, however, want to be successful but doing in a genuine and organic way. I’m not saying fuck it with content or giving up but just in a way for being authentic and myself while I create the content I love and enjoy the most. Sometimes that content is shallow and trivial like new makeup launches but it’s what I enjoy and I love doing the work to create the post. I love making graphics and writing, but most of all I love doing tutorials and doing makeup looks. I always think maybe that comes off as vain like I just post pics of my face but that’s not how it’s intended. I may be a little vain but who the fuck isn’t in this era. A little vanity is healthy I think. You gotta love yourself inside and out. As goofy looking as I am with my ginky eye and crooked teeth, it’s me and I love it. If anything, this blog has helped me come to love all the weird things about myself that I used to be embarrassed about. Part of that is growing up too. You learn to love the skin you are in and if you can improve it, go for it. I have no qualms with lip injections or botox cause you bet I would try out just to do it. That’s neither here nor there.
Point is, Shane and Bunny reminded me not to be a chicken shit, and not be shy about showing my personality, not worry about offending everyone or saying the wrong thing because lord knows IRL I don’t give a shit. I am kind of blunt and calls it likes I sees it type of gal. I don’t mince words or fuck around but I do try to be polite and sympathetic at the same time. I’m not mean or an asshole about it. As much as it begrudges me to admit am a softy and just want the best for everyone.
Anyway, leave me your thoughts below and let’s have a chat. One of my new goals is to be more involve and engaged in the community. I am very much a lone wolf type and keep to myself and I am trying to be more friendly I guess. That isn’t something comes naturally to me but I hope with time it does.